Some Letters to My Neighbors

Dear Frank and Betty Jo,

Thank you for introducing yourselves when you returned from your winter in Florida last spring. Oh, wait, you didn’t. Instead, you YELLED at me when my small dog startled you (but did not touch or jump on you in any way.)

I happily forgave you the following day when you apologized so sincerely, saying, “I’m so sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn’t have done that – I was just startled and had undergone outpatient surgery that morning. It really wasn’t a Christian way to behave.”

I felt awful and reassured you that the dog wouldn’t run toward you again like that. You smiled at me. I was so grateful that we were going to have a neighborly relationship.

Love,

Stacey

Dear Frank and Betty Jo,

The next thing we heard from you besides some unwelcoming looks was a letter from the homeowners’ association telling Todd to stop cooking at our house because he was clearly running a catering business out of our kitchen. He wasn’t.

Then we got the visit from the Health Department. They could easily see he wasn’t running a catering business.

Then, every time you saw me in the driveway, you looked at me like you hoped that I would catch on fire. We would have preferred for you to talk to us at any time during our stay in our home.

Love,

Stacey

Dear Frank and Betty Jo,

When Betty Jo looks at me like she would prefer that I’m dead, it really, really hurts my feelings. I do realize this is my problem and not yours.

Love,

Stacey

Dear Frank and Betty Jo,

I don’t know much about you as you have barely spoken to me, but you did reveal on several occasions that you’re Christians. Do Christians always treat their neighbors as the enemy?

Love,

Stacey

Dear Frank and Betty Jo,

I was considering Christianity, but since I met you, I learned that Christians are easily irritated, don’t forgive, are concerned with my marital status, choose reporting their neighbors over speaking to them, are mean to their neighbors’ guests, look miserable most of the time, and complain. A LOT. I can’t really get with that. Thanks for freeing me up of a lifetime of misery.

Love,

Stacey

Dear Frank and Betty Jo,

I wish with all my heart I could alleviate whatever it is that’s causing such pain in your lives.

With Christian love,

Stacey

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